Finding Your Catholic Tribe

I treasure every email I get from you sweet readers, and  many of you have been writing in with questions about your faith.  While some of you are converts, some are in the process of converting, or are lifelong Catholics.  As I’ve read through email after email,  I’ve found a common thread among many of the emails I receive.  You never mention it blatantly, but it is hinted at and shadowing the words of every paragraph.  The word?  Loneliness.

So many of you women (and some men) are experiencing rejection from family, friends, and even parish family as you try to live a faithful Catholic life.

Loneliness.  I get it.  I really do.

I converted to Catholicism 5 years ago (after 5 difficult years of a divided marriage).  The process was beautiful, gut-wrenching, and above all …lonely.  Each step along the way was a challenge.  I struggled to verbalize and share all the feelings and experiences with Husband, whom I love and adore and is my best friend and confidante.  While I love my family, I kept my conversion fairly quiet as I knew how hard they would take it.  At that time, I had very few friends.  In fact, I would say I had one female soul in the world I could call friend.  My sponsor – a modern day saint.  She picked me out of the crowd at Mass the first day I went to Catholic church.  She was God’s gift during that time.

Even so, I struggled to open up to her.  I’d had some pretty hurtful relationships with past girlfriends, and I had a hard time baring my soul to someone I had known for such a short time.

I had wanted to attend RCIA at a bigger parish (which meant a further drive), but after being Confirmed, I knew it was time to come back to our small town parish.  We belong to a parish cluster, which creates some interesting dynamics.  The church in our town only has Mass every other Sunday (we alternate to another parish in our cluster for off Sundays).  We belong to “St. Tiny Parish” (I totally made that up.  I haven’t been Catholic long enough to know if there really is a St. Tiny.  If so, please forgive me St. Tiny!) and to put it bluntly, there just isn’t a whole lot going on.  Sure, there is coffee and doughnuts after Mass, but beyond that, not much.

Don’t get me wrong, I love our parish and the people in our parish.  I grew up in “Tiny Country Presbyterian Church,” so I feel right at home in the parish home of St. Tiny’s.

So what happened then?

So there I was, 5 years ago, a recent convert who yearned desperately for some fellowship with like-minded young Catholic families.  I felt alone.

I did the only I knew to do.  Pray.

Ask. Seek. Knock.

I prayed a lot.  I knew that this was a prayer that God would be happy to answer.  God was so faithful!  He began bringing people into our lives.  What started as a trickle of friends has become a flood!  Our hearts are so full with the way God has answered our prayer (yes, Husband was praying for holy companionship too!).

As I tell more of my story, let me share some tips to help you find your Catholic tribe.

Finding your Catholic Tribe

Pray

This is where it all starts.  Bring your desire for Godly friends to the foot of the cross and lay it there.  Know that God is pleased to answer this sort of request, but be content with your circumstances until He acts.  If God doesn’t answer right away, He may be trying to teach you something through your loneliness.  Maybe He wants you to place all of your hope in Him.  Are you too attached to human companionship?  Is He calling you to dig deeper and seek Him alone for a season?

Follow-up

How God brought our friends into our lives…